Disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, exhaustion, confusion, loneliness, deception, “end-of-your-rope”, “up to here”, don’t get it, why me?, etc. How many times in a lifetime –and during certain ‘cycles’, how many times in a day or week or month or year– do we find expectations or hopes dashed by the way things turn out, be it relationships (of any or all sorts, including with children) work stuff, health, practical things, emotional things, transformational work, special projects and any such personal endeavors?
Some simple steps you can take to address these experiences include:
* Re-evaluate the expectations you had, have had (or maybe have been unconscious of) coming in to the situation. Were your expectations realistic? What do I mean by “realistic”? I don’t mean based on your past experience or what others might say. Realistic in this case means an expectation that you can align with your trust, faith, intention.
* Re-evaluate the actions you have taken toward your desired positive outcome. What values are reflected in your conduct. We oftentimes act at cross-purpose to ourselves. How is that? Sometimes our actions respond to either a conscious intention or a less conscious desire/impulse or reaction, when the desire and intention are not aligned. Becoming clearer on your values will allow you to assess the integrity of your actions.
* Considering the two above considerations you can then re-evaluate your commitment in terms of attitudes and values as they relate to intentions and desires. Something as simple as use of affirmations relative to what you intend to create, to have or to be can help align your commitment to your actions, naturally resolving any conflict between intention and desire, while bringing conscious and unconscious factors to bear upon a single intended outcome.
In Part II of this post I’ll look at a ‘next level’ approach to this issue, one that supersedes these more common ones, one that is inspired by a recent presentation by Matt Kahn.